Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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