Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
