Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
