Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Let's get the cat blown out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
