Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
