All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
