so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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