If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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