thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
