the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
