Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jessiee_rene hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue

Fav 27 1519 5276
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

Fav 19 6666 1227
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.

Fav 6 1002 2273
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes

Fav 3 1143 704
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...

Fav 8 839 1558
share tweet
(408): View more from California

IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY

Fav 5 967 674
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(660): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.

(1-660): View more from Missouri

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER

Fav 6 1202 767
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(506): View more from New Brunswick

sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.

Fav 0 179 94
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(507): View more from Minnesota

Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.

Fav 0 77 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT