I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Panties = found
Randomize
