Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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