Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
