goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
