what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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