Soap is not a condiment
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
