He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
send nudes
from the living room?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
