He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
