I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
