just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
