my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
