the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
