I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
