I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
