Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
