Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
