well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
