I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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