I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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