words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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