Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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