I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
