Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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