May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
