I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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