I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
