just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
