I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
