i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
