I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
