I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
