He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
