remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
