College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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