i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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