dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
