you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
