its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
