just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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